I’ve always run away from saying “hi” first.

If I unexpectedly bump into someone I know, my first instinct is to suddenly become very interested in a shop window.

I always want to run and hide.

Yet the moment they say hello first, I’m completely comfortable and confident.

Which raises an interesting question.

Am I actually shy?

Or am I simply not confident at starting conversations?

They’re not the same thing.

I think we often mistake a lack of confidence for a personality trait.

We tell ourselves:

“I’m shy.”

“I’m awkward.”

“I’m not good with people.”

When the reality is usually much simpler.

We just haven’t done enough reps.

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with.

It’s evidence.

Evidence that you’ve done something before.

A hundred times.

Maybe a thousand.

That’s why confidence feels so real in some areas of life and completely absent in others.

It’s not because you’re naturally confident.

It’s because you’ve accumulated proof.

And where proof is missing, anxiety fills the gap.

Not because you’re incapable.

But because you haven’t yet built enough evidence.

You haven’t done enough reps in that area.

For me, one of them is the first 1-3 seconds of saying hello.

I avoid it.

So I never practise it.

And because I never practise it, I don’t get any better at it.

Which means the anxiety grows.

The awkwardness grows.

And my confidence shrinks.

The solution isn’t to avoid it even more.

The solution is to do the opposite.

To deliberately put myself in situations where I have to say hello first.

To feel the discomfort.

To collect the evidence.

To get the reps.

We can apply this idea to almost any area of life.

Business.

Health.

Relationships.

Whatever area feels awkward.

Whatever area creates anxiety.

Instead of running away from it, identify it.

Then practise it.

Yes, you suck at first. But be okay with that.

Because the areas where you feel anxious are often the areas where your experience hasn’t yet caught up with your ambitions.

That’s the gap.

The gap between where you are and where you want to be.

The gap between your current experience and the experience you wish you had.

And that gap is only closed one way.

Action.

Reps.

Confidence is earned through undeniable evidence.

One rep at a time.

Have the best week ahead

Kia Kaha & love

Chris Xx