I noticed something embarrassing about myself.

I was recently cooking dinner for someone.

Same kitchen.

Same food.

Same pan.

And when their plate was ready,

I placed the food with love.

I wiped the edge of the plate.

I made it look beautiful.

Not because anyone had asked me to.

Not because it was going on Instagram.

But because somewhere inside me, without needing to think, I wanted the plate to say:

You matter.

And I thought about you.

Then I plated mine.

Honestly, it looked like it had been served through a hatch in Oliver Twist.

Dumped onto the plate!

With the energy of someone who had decided they weren’t worth the extra ten seconds.

Their plate looked Michelin-starred.

Mine looked like the chef had lost a bet.

I laughed at first.

Because it was funny.

Until it wasn’t.

Because the food was the same.

The ingredients were the same.

The effort required was almost the same.

The only thing that changed…

Was who I thought deserved the care.

Does this resonate?

Have you done it before?

Because how often do we do this…

Not just with food.

But, with everything…

We give other people the good version of us.

But we forget to give ourselves the same amount of love.

There’s one quote I’ve never been able to shake:

“Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.”

Because most of us understand care perfectly well when it is pointed outward.

People often take better care of their pets than they do of themselves.

They will make sure the dog gets the medicine.

They will buy the good food.

They will book the appointment.

They will notice when something is off.

They will take the responsibility seriously.

But when it is their own body, their own mind, their own life?

They delay.

They dismiss.

They negotiate with their own needs as if they are an inconvenience.

And that is where I think many of us are living.

We put everyone first and ourselves last.

The badly made plate.

The room we never make peaceful.

The appointment we never book.

The boundary we keep postponing.

The dream we keep treating like it can survive on crumbs.

And the strangest part is this:

If someone we loved lived the way we quietly allow ourselves to live, we would be heartbroken.

If they spoke to themselves the way we do, we would interrupt them.

If they fed themselves like an afterthought, we would make them sit down.

We would say, “Enough. Let me help you.”

But when it’s us?

We say, “Keep going.”

We say, “Don’t be dramatic.”

We say, “This will do.”

And maybe that phrase is the whole problem.

This will do.

This will do for my body.

This will do for my health.

No.

Not anymore.

My mum used to always say to me growing up:

“Treat everyone how you would like to be treated.”

Sometimes I forget that “everyone” includes me.

Because you are not just the person who gives the love.

You also need to receive it.

You are someone who deserves it, too.

Have a great week ahead.

Kia kaha & Love

Chris Xx