Last week, a friend said something I can’t stop thinking about:

“I feel like I’m doing everything — the podcasts, the journaling, the workouts… but nothing’s really changing.”

I know the feeling.

You’re doing all the right things on paper, but still feel flat inside.

Here’s the question I asked her (and maybe one worth asking yourself, too):

“Who are the five people you’re around the most?”

Not just physically. I mean, whose voices echo around your head all day?

Who do you text? Watch? Listen to? Work with? Share your energy with?

People Shape Our Patterns

You probably already know the classic line:

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

It sounds cliché. But it’s true — and powerful.

If your closest circle complains a lot, guess what happens?

You find yourself matching that tone. You play small.

If your friends are curious, creative, and open-hearted?

You start to expand, risk more, and speak up.

Sometimes we don’t have a motivation problem — we have a proximity problem.

We Mirror the People Closest To Us

There was a time when my love handles had more presence than my personality.

Not “call the doctor” overweight…

More like “why are all my jeans suddenly gaslighting me?”

I even emailed the manufacturer to ask if they’d quietly changed their sizing policy. (They hadn’t.)

The culprit?

The Sunday Brunch Club!

Specifically, a group of friends who treated brunch like an Olympic event.

We didn’t eat brunch. We performed brunch.

Croissants as a warm-up.

Avocado toast stacked like Jenga.

Mimosas before noon — for what occasion? Who knows. Life, maybe?

I once caught myself saying,

“This place does a truffle hollandaise — it’s life-changing.”

That’s when I knew I was in too deep.

Exercise? We discussed it. We meant to.

But the only steps we took were toward the bakery counter.

Eventually, I had to step back.

Not from the people — they were wonderful.

But from the 3000-calorie breakfasts masquerading as “catch-ups.”

The Lean Mean Grilling Machine

Fast-forward a few years, and I was in the best shape of my life.

Why?

Because I accidentally joined a circle of people who treated fitness like religion.

Everyone had a gym membership, like other people have Netflix accounts.

Meal prep became a love language.

Sundays began with a 10K, not a hangover.

When everyone else orders a kale smoothie, you don’t want to be the one asking for fries.

Not out of guilt, out of rhythm.

You just… sync up.

The Point?

You don’t rise to the level of your intentions.

You sink (or soar) to the level of your environment.

Proximity is power.

Change your circle — and you will move to what you want to become without even trying.

The easiest way to shape your habits and choices?

Choose your five wisely.

Have a great week ahead.
Chris

P.S.
If someone came to mind while reading this — maybe someone who lifts you up — send them this and say thank you.

We all need reminders of who we’re becoming.